Monday, June 29, 2015

A Birthday Memory

This past year have been quite difficult for us. Of course, we have seen a lot of beautiful things too, but going through deaths of loveones is really heartbreaking. We celebrate life to its very fullest for once and then death just took away all the joy, the laughter and all that was worth. What leaves us are nothing but memories.

Exactly a year ago today, papa celebrated one of his happiest birthdays. Ella made sure that he's having his favorite dishes, my brother made sure that his all-time favorite lechon is served, Joy made sure that all of his friends were coming. It was an awesome day. One can see the happiness of a child celebrating a birthday by the look on his face. Seeing him like that was happiness and it was unforgettable. 

He was happy that he had palm reading sessions with the ladies that night. It was his first palm reading session in about a year... when he somehow predicted my father-in-law's health on a father's day. I am a skeptic but I am still amazed at how papa would simply catch or predict one's fate or past or traits or wahtever. I thought it was all trickery. Well, could be coincidence... until some of his readings were quite accurate and the last were with my in-laws. Mang Boy had a heart attack about five hours later. Papa was depressed as if he was blaming himself for reading Mang Boy's "fate." When Mang Boy recovered, so did papa... but he promised himself not to have palm reading sessions again. 

Exactly a year ago today, he had his last palm reading session. His usual ladies were lining up for some future insights. Well, it was all ladies that night though and I won't forget how he made them ladies happy and he was too! He had his usual laughter, a drunk kind of laughter, after each reading. That "hahahaha! Ho!" was really tempting. Happiness, you know.... Can't take that away from him that night.

Who would have thought it would be his last birthday? He was strong! He could take two to three liters of red horse beer in one sitting. He could sweep out all the rubbish down the street like he was the official block street sweeper. Who would have thought?

There are times when I get to see memories of him while alone. I still see my man the last time I saw him alive. I can still see my man the last time I sent him for a checkup. I still see my man the last time I saw his face turned read after I pulled the plug... To be honest, it is hurting me still. I still can't get over his passing. To be honest, pulling the plug was quite an experience. I'd be damned if I didn't feel chills until today. It was pretty aweful. People would say a few things like "it's okay, he was gone way before you unplug him..." or "you freed him of suffering..." and all that... But I could only say in silence that the feeling was not really good that it hurts still.

But he was gone. I know he is in a better place. I also hope that he is enjoying some heavenly beers on the other side. It's his birthday, he deserves some celebration, yeah! I could only pray for myself, that one day so soon, I will get over his passing and move on. I could only pray for my mom, that she be healthy. I could only pray for my siblings that they may find happiness in everything that they do. I'm sure my old man is very proud of them. I hope he is proud of me too!

Today would have been papa's 77th birthday. But he came short of waiting for this day. He looked forward for this day. He's got plans... but it's not meant to be. It would have been so much fun. Just not meant to be.

I really missed my old man. I missed kissing him. I missed hugging him... I missed the times when he shoo me away because I was so annoying already when I hug him. It was something I looked forward to when I got to visit him. Never got to happen again, I guess.

Happy birthday me old man! No more hugs but I'm pretty sure you look better now. No more pains yeah! Rest. Well. I love you so much, papa!

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