Tol, ang sakit ng almuranas ko!

Reminds me when I had a horrible experience after sitting on the kingly throne. Damn, it hurts! I can't forget what happened next. My colleague was washing his hands and he saw me through the mirror as I was coming out from the toilet...

"Pare, mukhang ang asim ng mukha mo a..." said my colleague who was neither grinning nor smiling. He's like trying to emulate the look of my face... Like he just saw blood gushing out from my behind and going to faint...

"Pare, sakit ng almuranas ko!" I uttered back trying to hide the pain from my behind...

He laughed out loud, his laughter echoed down the hallway. Me, I can't even talk and standing straight was so painful!

I went to the clinic to have my bottom checked. She asked me few questions and all that I can remember the most was this...

"Jay, let's try this. I Will do a digital check on you." She said...

"Digital check? You mean may ipapasok po kayong high-tech na instrumento sa pwet ko dok?" I told her back thinking about all the high tech gadgets of the modern world and of course I was working with all those high tech machines in the shop floor...

"Hindi Jay, ipapasok ko lang tong daliri ko sa pwet mo..." she answered back like she's going to have a major operation on me...

Shit! I will be fingered!!! It will be my first! Damn!

"Wag na doc, bigyan mo na lang ako ng gamot na ako na lang ang magpasok..." Answered her back and I stood up to tell her that I am done with her.

Well, I can still feel my hemoroid once in a while and I am getting used to it...

Anyway, I just can't help but remember this experience whenever I see Mike Defensor's Ad on TV. I can't even laugh at because it's not funny! The ad really sucks! Whoever directed that ad may have all the hemoroids in the world surrounding him during the shoot.

"Tol! Mike Defensor! Iboboto kita pagka-senador!" Shouts the PacMan look-alike (I don't know his name) and some other personas like Keanna Reaves...

Mike Defensor looks back with the barbed-wire teeth coming out and with face trying to cover up the pain in his ass. He didn't utter a single word but maybe trying to say this silently...

"Tol, ang sakit ang almuranas ko!"

Damn Ad!