A Wandering Mind

I just came back from the dead and I can’t believe it’s been 3 months since I last blog…

Well, my mind was just wandering around lately. I don’t see myself in the future the way I plan to be… The heck. What else can I say ‘living’ in this fucked up place.

And now I am complaining! Damn!

But the hell, I was dreaming too despite the fact most of the time my mind was wandering around… and I guess it’s worth posting. Just to keep myself reminded in the future that there was one time in my life that I have dreamed so much…

My Oil Palm Dream…
My Oil Palm Dream…
My Oil Palm Dream…
My Oil Palm Dream…
My Oil Palm Dream…
My Oil Palm Dream…

I called an old friend last March. Just wanting to wish him luck on his birthday… Then he told me… “Bro, magtanum na lang ko… Rubber Tree… Didto sa Siquijor bai. Gikapoy na ko diri Cagayan bai, hinay ang kinabuhi…”

Damn! All the while, the oil palm and rubber tree plantations here amazed me. Why I didn’t at least hear these trees in the Philippines…

Why not?

So I asked if I could pitch in. He was planning by the middle of next year so I still have time to align my mind and focus on planning.

My brother told me that there is actually a plantation and a government supported outgrowers in Bohol and the following week, a hometown friend contacted me while I was on my way to Clark Airport. He told me that Balilihan, Bohol is one of the places where the potential for Oil Palm growers are good. I just happen to have at least 10has of unused land for farming….

I just need some investors… The stakes are really good…. Hopefully, planting starts on January next year, God willing. I’ll just have to work for it.

I just talked to Dorb just now telling me that his Siquijor plots are not feasible, he might as well pitch in with mine. Ella and I will be going to Bohol on August and see things through. Hopefully, we could start at least something. One of our ninongs is very interested about it… I just have to find way to convert his interest to investment.

At least, with a mind wandering around… I dream and it doesn’t stop here and it never should...

What happened to him?

Taken last 24 March 2007 at the hotel entrance in Genting Highlands. The chinese guy may had a very tragic casino nightmare the night before... Seellan in the foreground is making fun out of him. tsk tsk tsk!

To Ella

Dear Ella,

It's been three years since we exchanged vows, hon, and it's been quite a bumpy ride. We both know our relationship was not perfect, despite the efforts of making it perfect. It was fun.

Hon, when Josh came, my world stopped for a moment. I knew you had been through a tough day, you were in pain. But you just showed me how you detached from the labor pains while you were sleeping after the operation. You complained about the pains the next day but you showed me how to be strong when in pain.

I still remember when you cried learning that Josh has to be left in the hospital when you were discharged two days later. I felt you broke down that afternoon when you asked of my hugs but you still tried to be strong. I still remember when you were asking me after my visits to Josh on how he looked like... or if I was able to hug him... or when was Josh discharged from the nursery... And I still remember how happy you were hugging Josh for the first time when he was discharged. I felt it, hon.

Then Lela came. This time, you were well prepared. I remember you told me that Lela looks like Josh when you were just transfered to your room after the operation. You told me that Lela looks pretty and it brought laughter in me, hon, knowing the good news straight from you.

We have wonderful kids, hon. Despite the bumpy ride, at the end of the day, both of them eases our pressures. Lela loves to kiss, Josh loves to hug. Aren't they sweet?

It's been a bumpy ride, hon, and I know there will be more bumps ahead. I know I have my share of things, I understand that I have hurt you, I understand that I may have cross some lines... and I am sorry about all those things. Know that I will try my best not to hurt you in everything that I do. My world revolves around the three of you, hon, and I will make sure that I will keep it this way. No compromises.

I want to thank you for all these years, hon. We are moving forward, I believe. There will be more bumps ahead, for sure. Just hold on to what we believe, hon. I know we will make it through.

I love you and I'm still in love with you. Happy Anniversary.